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Why I Stopped wearing makeup to work

5/6/2019

5 Comments

 
I used to wear makeup to work. Every day. And it took me what feels like a lifetime to answer the question why? There are the obvious reasons: I want to look good. I should look good. I look more put together when I wear it. I feel better about myself when I wear it. But that rabbit hole starts to get reaaaaaaal dark if you keep climbing down. Wait, why does makeup make me feel better? Don’t I look good without it? But society dictates…and so on.

Why did I stop wearing makeup? Because I fucking felt like it.

I remember when I started to fade out makeup use. I got a lot of, “Ms. C, are you sick?” “You look tired today.” “Is everything okay?”

Cool. This is helping, she said, sarcastically.

Can I blame them? No.

Okay, I absolutely did for a minute. Because wtf. If you don’t have anything nice to say…but that was the turning point—people believe this behavior, these comments, are nice. The question “are you okay?” comes from a place of concern. But really, it comes from a place of subversive norms.

And that’s where the rabbit hole takes you. And if you keep going down that aforementioned rabbit hole, you can see why. In the 90s, all my favorite catalogs, yes catalogs, featured grungy, punk, goth-style females that weren’t airbrushed or covered in foundation. Delia’s, Alloy, Zoe. I miss the 90s…Fast-forward to 2019, and we are living in a completely different marketed world. Between filters on Snapchat/Instagram and every airbrushed/botoxed celebrity, how can a female FEEL good every day simply being themselves?

To be clear—I will never put down a woman for modifying her body. And I actually love putting on/wearing makeup. I’d like to point out I have myriad pictures on this website that are airbrushed and creatively inspired. And I love them. My best friend and I had a blast working on these creative shoots. But what have I learned over 34 years? They are just that—an artistic expression—a moment in time that does not need to be fulfilled every day I get up and leave my house. And that’s the takeaway. I stopped letting it control me. The feeling of “have to.” The feeling that people won’t like me or care about me without my mask. Because that is MY personal takeaway. I was being controlled by an external force, and my intentions were driven by fear.

Sadly, it feels true and is often reinforced on Instagram. I get the most “likes” from filtered selfies. I get the most responses from pictures with loads of makeup. And that’s okay. Now. After a lot of self-work and self-worth.

But to those that are still struggling to find the balance between I love myself/fuck makeup, and I will NEVER leave the house without it, here is a reminder: it’s okay. It’s okay to wear it. It’s okay to not wear it. It’s okay to wear it every day. It’s okay to wear it on a special occasion. But if the conversation in your head is fueled by negative self-talk and societal standards based on fear, it’s also okay to start exploring the why, just as I did.

Check out my inspiration page for some books that can help you feel better about all of your choices, no matter what those choices look like for you. But at the end of the day, no one should feel they “have to” do anything. Especially if that negative “have to” is coming from your own damn mind! Except maybe go to work…we gotta eat, right?

But that’s why I stopped wearing makeup. Because now, I get to sleep in longer and call myself beautiful every day, in a way I never thought possible. Free your mind. Free your heart. And free your damn face.

[If you are the person that needed to hear this, please leave a comment! Even if it’s a simple smiley face. If you hated this, please leave a comment. Even if it’s the middle finger emoji.]
5 Comments
Shanna link
5/7/2019 05:12:57 pm

I love your first blog post! I don't struggle with makeup. I wear it most days when I leave the house, but not because I feel like I have too. I just like the "made up" look. I'm a work from home mom, so putting on makeup often makes me feel like I have a life outside of yoga pants. Same goes for jewelry. But to be honest, even when I have a night out on the town with my hubby, my tinted moisturizer, dash of eyeliner and shimmer brick take me about 3 minutes to apply.

I think my favorite point of yours in this piece is to just open ourselves up to question and be curious about our own motivations.

So many of us do things, say things, even feel things on auto pilot. And we hate to dig deeper into the why. It's scary!

But once you get comfortable with doing that digging, it can get really interesting, and your life can open up in incredible ways.

Loving this site so far! Keep it up sister!

Reply
Jennifer Lee
5/8/2019 02:24:49 pm

Hey Shanna,

Yes, you hit the nail right on the head! It really is about digging into our own motivations and discovering if, in fact, they are our own. It's definitely scary to find unhealthy relationships with things like makeup, food, people, etc. But I agree 100%--once you start digging and get past the fear, the healing can offer a whole new world of possibility.

And I absolutely see your perspective regarding makeup. I can relate in the summer. Because I teach, I am home 24/7 June-Sept. I think about how I bum around my house/city in the summer, and after a few days of yoga pants, I'm ready for a full face of makeup and a cute outfit. It can drastically shift your energy/mood!

Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment! <3

Reply
Ash link
5/7/2019 05:15:20 pm

I love everything about this post. I joined this mindset when I got pregnant and make up was just one more thing I felt I “had” to do to stay pretty while I was getting bigger. One day at about 5 months I just said “fuck it” and stopped putting in on every morning. It’s liberating to say “here I am world! Just me.”

I still love make up - hell I sell it as part of my income - but you should never HAVE to wear it. Love this post - keep ‘me coming ❤️

Reply
Jennifer Lee
5/8/2019 02:28:38 pm

Ash,

YES. Exactly. That moment when you're like--NOPE. I do not need to do this thing because I AM ENOUGH. This is freedom. This is healing. Because then it becomes a choice. And that is beautiful!

Thanks for the support, boo. Can't wait for your interview! <3

Reply
California Facesitting link
12/6/2022 12:55:50 pm

Lovve this

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    Jennifer Lee

    Just call me Double N Jenn. In this section, I'll post everything from life updates to rants to poetry. Because, why not?

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